Scattered Thoughts

Feels good

I excepted a job offer almost two weeks ago. I got a call and got another offer that I had to decline.

It totally slipped my mind that I continued to apply and take interviews up to the day I got my offer. Now that I’m getting calls for second interviews or offers. It feels good to know that some employer out there wants me.

After all this time I thought I wasn’t good enough.

THE DAY FINALLY CAME

At 5:05pm today, I received an email from regarding an offer for a JOB! I get the official offer by Wednesday regarding pay, benefits and all that jazz. 

After almost a year of searching I finally landed a job! The instance I saw the email driving home with the Vazquez children, I started screaming for joy. I didn’t bother to look at the staring faces in the car next to me haha. 

The day finally came where I can begin this new chapter in my life. I never thought this day would come. Everything is falling into place <3 

Chaos

- Sucks when someone who is loving and caring gets the news they have cancer. Also when they think they can’t survive it, totally breaks my heart.

- Finding the strength within me keep going with job hunting and working out. I can no longer sleep at night due to the fact I’m stressed out about finding a job. It’s painful to see my parents worried about money they no longer have coming in. I know its much harder for them because their the ones who lost their jobs.

- I’m very grateful for all the wonderful friends I have in my life. There are only a handful who I can trust and depend on if I ever get stranded or need help. An incident happened to a friend and it made me realize how lucky I am. We should be grateful for the people in our lives.

As we get older we realize how much more wiser we become. We all learn from our mistakes and live on. We realize much more as we lose more. Life is hard sometimes but we have to push thru so we can continue to live.

Detoxing

After 3 whole months of crazy hours, endless work and shows I finally had a day to relax a bit.

I finally bought some gold glitter heels

Henry and I go to Starbucks to do a coffee run for the family.

*We see a couple looking over their wedding proofs with a photographer*

I look at Henry and he says “Babe we will be there soon” and he gave me a hug.

Dysfunction

Stress is enabling me to function. Even though I been working out, I feel like I’m eating me stress. Stress counteracts weight lost. FML.

I wanna get away even if it’s for just a day or two. No kids, no errands, just relax and do what I want. But I doubt this will happen.

Why do I feel so left behind? Where are my so called friends? I feel like I hit bottom and no one can help. Only I can see the person I’ve become and quite frankly I don’t like it. I want the old me back I just don’t know how anymore. It’s like I’m living everyone’s life but my own.

I just don’t know anymore. I not enjoying life as much as I used to.